I was listening to hitz.fm.. and the line struck me “When you are angry, you cannot think properly”
This is so true in so many levels. A lot of time when we say and do things we don’t mean, it is when we lost our cool. We may be consumed by anger, frustration, fear or worse an elated ego.
I have wrestled with my Dragon as I have in many ways inherited my parent's hot headedness; or maybe its my many unresolved emotions of having lost control. As a rape survivor, I had felt helplessness and violated. And my lash back has always been anger! It can be very destructive and sometimes, the collateral damage is heart wrenching. I must admit that before I've learned to manage it better, I've hurt many.
I am, of course, still a Work in Progress and here I hope to share some of the techniques that I've used successfully to 'slay my inner dragon' each and everyday. The key most important skill everyone should have is the ability to control and change our own state of mind and emotion.
So, what can we do to change our state?
Pattern interrupt: do something that stops and interrupt an unresourceful state.
-> We can shift your physiology. Change our body posture: stretch, jump or get up and dance.
-> Divert our focus. Just like we normally do it with crying toddlers; ‘look look up there is a lizard’. Focus on something else first
-> Change our language. What do you say to yourself? What if you intensify the positive words and de-intensify the negative words. For example, instead of ‘angry’ replace with ‘a little upset’. Instead of ‘happy’ replace with ‘ecstatic’
-> We can powerfully change the meaning we attach to our experiences. This reminds me of the Thomas Edison story: when interviewed by a reporter about his failures, he answered ‘what failures? I just found 10000 ways how not to do it’
When we are angry, we can’t think properly; so take time and count to 10 or 100 even; take deep breaths or go take a walk to cool off. This will help clear our mind … so we can think through our next step of action.
Do not make any impulsive decisions or actions especially when we are in any unresourceful state of mind. We must take back our power and be in control of how we feel, what we think, what we say and what we do.
We must continue to empower ourselves and not give our power away to others or any situation.